Just a quick update to let ya'll know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. As Mr. Code pointed out on my tag board, it's been a busy year. I have the oddest sensation of my life spiraling out of control...and I somewhat like it. Sure there are some things I'd love to change...for example. How long do I get to be sick? I had the sniffles, turned into a chest cold, turned into bronchitis and sinusitis. I've been on 3 different antibiotics, and had *bad* reactions to 2 of them. The most recent caused chest pains, muscle aches, blurred vision and panic attacks. I've stopped taking them of course, but the effects are still minor now 3 days off. All of this has been going on since late December...it's nuts. I know I'm healed, and just waiting for it to be manifested...but I feel like I'm going crazy. :(

On the plus side, I'm in love. :) John is a wonderful human being, and I can't even picture my life without him. I know it hasn't been long since I've known him...but he's gotten under my skin. We talk every day, usually for about 4 hours. We have so much in common, he makes me feel beautiful, special, cherished...he cheers me up when I'm sad, spoils me with his words, actions (and gifts!). I think the first moment I knew I was in love with him, was when he said "I thank God every day, He blessed me with you." I've even forgotten what feelings I had for my ex's...::sigh:: I can't even put into words how he makes me feel, so I'm gonna cut the mushy stuff. :)

Uh...lets see, I'm sure there's other things to say...but I'm gonna go now.

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated, my bad. It seems like with everyday that passed, my desire to blog was pushed further away. I haven't been busy, really, no more than usual...I've just found other things to occupy myself. I've recently rediscovered Yahoo! pool, and find myself playing a couple games a day. Because of this, I've met someone. He's really sweet, and we can talk for hours (as we did yesterday...7 hours to be exact). It doesn't come cheap though, he's long distance...expensive phone bill, and hard on the heart. He wants to come visit me in a few weeks, scary thought. We find ourselves too attracted to eachother, and that spells danger. I told him he shouldn't come down, and right now I am waiting for him to call me so we can discuss what to do about this special vibe that seems to be happening between us. Lord help me, I don't want another broken heart and even more loneliness.

On another note, the evil forces that be have been doing their hardest to stop me from bettering myself. Everytime I get close to a break through within my own faults, the devil starts in on me and I turn judgmental. I've really been bad lately, and I feel horrible. I don't want to hurt those around me, so I try to keep my mouth shut, but I have a hard time stopping the thoughts. I feel this is a real stumbling block in making progress in my own life, concentrating on others too much. If the person reading this is the praying type, I could really use help in this department. I should be removing the log out of my own eye...if you know what I'm saying.

Well, I better get going now...

Rest In Peace Great Uncle Myron

1926-2003

My theme songs:

-Somewhere I Belong- by Linkin Park
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Repeat Chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

[Repeat Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

-Reflection- by Xtina
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

-The Real Me- by Jaci Velasquez
People think I've got it all together
With the show and my sweet, sweet smile
But do they know if I've been happy ever
Pull up a chair 'cause this may take a while
O.K. so here's the thing

I've got my bad days, and some are even worse
I can be a blessing and you know, I can be a curse
I tremble at rejection, I'm scared to be alone
Sometimes I may be selfish, but I always make it home

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

So now you see that I am far from perfect
I will fall and I will make mistakes (oh, no)
But I am here and this has taken courage
Will you abandon me or will you stay
(Please stay with me)

I know that I'm demanding and sometimes insecure
I think I've got the answers, but then I'm not so sure
I sometimes need attention a little more than I should
But there is a part of me that would give the whole world if I could

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

Now I've gone and let you in
And I no longer will pretend
Will you please still be my friend
Will you please still be my friend
Do you see me now

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
Real me

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

-Can't Give Up Now- by Mary Mary
There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I wouldn't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

[Hook:]
No you didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that you are with me

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me 
 
-Through The Rain- by Mariah Carey
When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And I live once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain

Songs that have been dedicated to me:

-Sunshine- by Jay-Z (dedicated by Anthony)
Who be, in a Japanese restaurant, eating sushi
Drinking saki, it's me, and my mami with the doobie
Cutie, smellin like Tiaka, half-Phillipine thing
For now, let's call her Suki, got me this booty bangin
Properly, in Versace pants, cocky bow-legged stance
A thing of beauty, watch me, body crazy
Tits Firm like Nature, Foxy, Nas and AZ
Truly reason to bug the toolie and keep laced in jewelry watch me
Girlie tried to lure me and lock me you gotta get up early
Cause who's gettin played is not me
"Surely you jest," she said, "if you thought I was purely
out for the bucks you woulda bucked stuck and dropped me"
I said maturely, "You right
but better safe than sorry, but for the lovebirds
can move to the suburbs, I need to double check your story
To make sure that you one of a kind
And you deserve to be my Sunshine"

Touch me with, a heart of gold (uh-huh)
I can't go a day without my sunshine (uh-huh) ahh-haaa (say what? uhh)
Touch me with, a smile of gold (yeah)
I can't go a day without my sunshine, sunshine (uhh, uhh, uhh)

A year gone, and she seein things most chicks only
hear in songs (uh-huh) keep in gear phenom
Lots of ice in the air, round the neck the charm (that's right)
Risked a four to life bid to keep that shit on her arm
Keep her impressed at all times, cats would love to creep (uh-huh)
just to say they crept with mine, slept with mine, she said

I ain't deaf nor blind, niggaz stressin
Hatin cause they less than mine, they wanna sex me
We chose each other, you actin like you chose me
They oppose you then, they oppose me
We could creep at a low speed, the gat in the hosiery
Double cross you they got to triple cross me
(I'm thinking that's the way it's supposed to be) Uh-huh
(One more thing:
If I ever go broke, would you hit the block for me?) Fo' sho'
(She replied, eyes open wide) Uhhhh
(Put that on everything?) I put that on my life
(Right)

If I needed would you, give me your kidneys? (Uhh, uhh, fo' sho')
Catch a case you catch it with me? (Mmm, fo' sho')
Pawn your jewlery to come get me? (You better know)
Catch me with a chick, forgive me? (Uhh, now that, I don't know)
They spread rumors, will you defend me, tooth and nail? (Uh-huh)
They try to frame me, will you be there, till the truth prevail? (uhh)
This is the truth I shell, till the loot gets frail
I put this on my nephews, from the smallest to the pale
Me and you ballin, from the heavens, or the hell
Won't let you hit the ground if I'm fallin myself
Now picture me leavin you in this cold world, rollin for delf
It's me and you in this old girl, we takin the belt
From the lows, to the highs, to the foes we shine
Just continue to be my Sunshine (uhhh)

-For You I Will- by Monica (dedicated by Amber)
When you're feeling lost in the night,
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough,
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better,
I'll be there to protect you,
See you through,
I'll be there and there is nothing
I won't do.

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you,
For you I will.

I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down,
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe,
I'll stand beside you, right or wrong

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon (yeah, yeah)
I will be your hero your strength
anything you need (I will be..)
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you
For you I will

For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, oooooh
For you I will die
With every breathe, with all my soul
I'll give my world
I'll give it all
Put your faith in me (put you're faith in me)
And I'll have to leave it be

I will cross the ocean for you (I will cross the ocean for you)
I will go and bring you the moon
Promise you (Promise you)
For you I will, I will, I will, I will,

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero your strength
Anything you need, (Anything you need)
I will be the sun in your sky (yeah, yeah)
I will let you wait for all times
Promise you (I promise you)
For you I will (Ooooh)
I promise you
For you I will

-She's My Kind Of Rain- by Tim McGraw (dedicated by Scott)
She's my kind of rain
Like love in a drunken sky
She's confetti falling
Down all night

She sits quietly there
Black water in a jar
Says, Baby why are you
Trembling like you are

So I wait
And I try
I confess like a child

She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain

She's the sun set shadows
She's like Rembrandt's light
She's the history that's made at night
She's my lost companion
She's my dreaming tree
Together in this brief eternity
Summer days, winter snows
She's all things to behold

She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain

So I wait
And I try
I confess all my crimes

She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain

She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain

She's my kind of rain
Oh, rain on me
She's my kind of rain

-I Don't Want To Miss A Thing- by Aerosmith (dedicated by Joe)
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

-All My Life- by Kaci & JoJo (dedicated by Dan)
I will never find another lover sweeter than you,
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinking of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

Songs I dedicate to the 3 guys I've let get closest to me, Joe/Dan/Scott:

-Wrong Again- by Martina McBride
From The Day We Met
You Made Me Forget
All My Fears
Knew Just What To Say
And You Kissed Away
All My Tears

I Knew This Time I Had Finally Found
Someone To Build My Life Around
Be A Lover And A Friend
After All My Heart Had Put Me Through
I Knew That It Was Safe With You
And What We Had Would Never End
Wrong Again

Everybody Swore
They'd Seen This Before
We'd Be Fine
And You'd Come To See That You Still Loved Me
In Good Time

And They Said There's Nothing You Can Do
It's Something That He's Going Through
It Happens To A Lot Of Men
And I Told Myself That They Were Right
That You'd Wake Up And See The Light
And I Just Had To Wait 'til Then
Wrong Again

And It Seemed To Me The Pain Would Last
My Chance For Happiness Had Passed
And Nothing Waited 'round The Bend
I Was Sure I'd Never Find Someone
To Heal The Damage You Had Done
My Poor Heart Would Never Mend
Wrong Again
Wrong Again 

-Stay Gone- by Jimmy Wayne
I found peace of mind, I'm feeling good again
I'm on the other side, back among the living
Ain't a cloud in the sky, all my tears have been cried
And I can finally say

Chorus:
Baby baby stay, stay right where you are
I like it this way, it's good for my heart
I haven't felt like this in God knows how long
I know everything's gonna be ok
If you just stay gone

I still love you, and I will forever
We can't hide the truth, we know each other better
When we try to make it work, we both end up hurt
And it ain't supposed to be that way

CHORUS

When we try to make it work, we both end up hurt
Love ain't supposed to be that way

CHORUS

I know everything's gonna be ok
If you just stay gone

-Heartbreak Hotel- by Whitney Houston
This is the heartbreak hotel
You said that you'd be here by nine
And said you took your time
You didn't think to call me boy
Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why you do this to me

Since you're not around for me to tell you baby face to face
I'm writing you this letter, and this is hat I have to say:
All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you play with my emotions and you made me cry
What you do to me
Can't take what you did to me
Now I see that you been doing wrong
You played me all along.
And made a fool of me, baby
You got it all wrong to think that I wouldn't find out
That you were cheating on me.
How could you do it to me?

This is the heartbreak hotel
I aint goin to take it no more
Everything you said was a lie
Don't lie to me
 
-Running Away- by Hoobastank
I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
Why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Cause I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
...What is it I've got to say...
So why are you running away?
...To make you admit you're afraid...
Why are you running away?

-Strong Enough- by Cher
I don't need your sympathy
There's nothing you can say or do for me
And I don't want a miracle
You'll never change for no-one
And I hear your reasons why
Where did you sleep last night?
And was she worth it, was she worth it?

Cause I'm strong enough to live without you
Strong enough and I quit crying
Long enough, now I'm strong enough
To know you gotta go
There's no more to say
So save your breath and walk away
No matter what I hear you say
I'm strong enough to know you gotta go

So you feel misunderstood
Baby have I got news for you
On being used, I could write a book
But you don't wanna hear about it
Cause I've been losing sleep
And you've been going cheap
And she ain't worth half of me, it's true
Now I'm telling you

That I'm strong enough to live without you
Strong enough and I quit crying
Long enough, now I'm strong enough
To know you gotta go

Come hell or waters high
You'll never see me cry
This is our last goodbye, it's true
I'm telling you

Now I'm strong enough to live without you
Strong enough and I quit crying
Long enough, now I'm strong enough
To know you gotta go
There's no more to say
So save your breath and walk away
No matter what I hear you say
I'm strong enough to know you gotta go

Songs I dedicate to Jeremy:

-Miss You- by Aaliyah
[CHORUS]
It's been too long and I'm lost without u
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
(Said I need you)
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you

[VERSE 1]
Off to college
Yes you went away
Straight from high school
You up and left me
We were close friends
Also lovers
Did everything
For one another
Now ur gone and I'm lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow
Come back...to me
Can you...hear me (Callin')
Hear me...callin' (For you)
For you...'Cuz it's

[CHORUS]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you

[VERSE 2]
Now I'm sittin' here
Thinkin' 'bout you
And the days we used to share
It's drivin' me crazy
I don't know what to do
I'm just wonderin' if you still care
I don't wanna let you know
That it's killin' me
I know you got another life you gotta concentrate baby
Come back...to me
Can you...hear me (Callin')
Hear me...callin' (For you)
For you...'Cuz it's

[CHORUS 2x]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you

[BRIDGE]
I...can't...breathe...no...more
Since you went away I
Don't really feel like talkin'
Don't wanna hear you don't love me
Baby do you understand me
I can't do a thing without you

[CHORUS 3x]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
(Tell me what I'm gonna do)
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you

-Have You Ever- by Brandy
[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for the words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

-All I've Ever Wanted- by Mariah Carey 
If you only knew
What I feel for you
If you only lived for me
And I lived for you
I'd be in heaven
My dreams would come true

'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you

If you were my own
To caress and hold
I would shower you with love
And drown within your soul
Because I live and breathe for you
And I really need to know

That all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you

Everything I do is for you
You are every part of me
And I don't want to face
Another day
Alone
Without your love

'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you
All I've ever wanted
Is you

-Things I'll Never Say- by Avril Lavigne
I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]

Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say 

-I Want You To Need Me- by Celine Dion
I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes
I want to be the touch you need every single night
I want to be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between

I want you to need me
Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me
In everything
I want you to see me
In your every dream
The way that I taste you feel you breathe you need you
I want you to need me
Like I need you

I want to be the eyes that look deep into your soul
I want to be the world to you
I just want it all
I want to be your deepest kiss
The answer to your every wish
I'm all you ever need

[Chorus]

More than you could know
And I need you
To never never let me go
And I need to be deep inside your heart
I just want to be everywhere you are....

I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes
I want to be the touch you need every single night
I want to be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between

Songs I dedicate to Amber:

-Genuine- by Stacie Orrico
I see you passing by
I don't where
I don't know why
You choose to go the way that you're going now
You've been a friend of mine for many years till the end of time
You just aren't you today, so what's on your mind
You just won't speak about it
Think about it
Be about it
Gotta make yourself aware that you're goin' astray
You're trying so hard to fit in

[CHORUS:]
What you need is something genuine
What you want is something real
What you you need is something truthful
I know you do
'Cause I need it too..
What you need
What you want
What you need
Something Genuine

You cry yourself to sleep
Sleep at night but once the night is gone
And you prepare to face a brand new day
You hide yourself behind that mastermind
You're in disguise
It's as if you try to put a mask on your pain

You don't know who you are
What you're about
Where are you now
You're becoming someone that you don't want to be
You're trying so hard to fit in...

[CHORUS:]

He loves you for who you are now and who you will be
Don't fear living in truth there's reality
I don't have all the answers but I know One who does
And I know there's freedom and truth
I go to Him because...

What He has is something genuine
Who He is someone real
What He gives is something truthful
Its what He has its who He is
Its what He gives
And I need Him too

-Your Friend- by Jaci Velasquez
If the wind will blow
I will hold your hand
When the sun won't shine
I will never fade away

When the tears appear
To wipe away your smile
Don't be afraid
I'll be here

I will be your friend
Who will always care
I'll be the first to catch you
If ever you should fall
And hold you in my arms
I will be your friend

If you lose your place
In life's crazy race
You can make it through
'Cause I will run with you

We'll always pray
And believe in our hearts
That God will be here
By our side

I will be your friend
Who will always care
I'll be the first to catch you
If ever you should fall
And hold you in my arms
I will be your friend

God knows our imperfections
And He loves us anyway
A closer friend than I could ever be
But a little piece of heaven
I will do my best to bring
You'll never have to search again

I will be your friend
Who will always care
I'll be the first to catch you
If ever you should fall
And hold you in my arms
I will be your friend

I will be your friend
One who will always care
I'll be a little closer
When you feel so far away
And hold you in my arms
I will be your friend  

-A voice within- Xtina
Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

-Thankful- by Kelly Clarkson
You know my soul
You know everything about me there's to know
You know my heart
How to make me stop & how to make me go
You should know i love everything
About you don't you know

That I'm thankful
For the blessing
And the lessons that I've learned w/you by my side
That I'm thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life
Thankful so thankful

You know my thoughts
Before i open up my mouth & try to speak
You know my dreams
Must be listening when I'm talking in my sleep
I hope you know
I love having you around me don't you know

Don't you know that I'm thankful for the moment
When I'm down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life
When i didn't think i could go on
But you made me feel strong
With you I am never alone

-A Brave New Girl- by Britney Spears
She’s gonna pack her bags
She’s gonna find her way
She’s gonna get right out of this
She don’t want New York
She don’t want L.A.
She’s gonna find that special kiss
She don’t want no sleep
She don’t want no high
Oh, like peaches ‘n’ cream
She’s gonna wish on stars and touch the sky
Ah, you know what I mean

She wants a good time
No need to rewind
She needs to really find what she wants
She lands on both feet
Won’t take a back seat
There’s a brave new girl
And she’s comin’ out tonight

She’s gonna step outside
Uncover her eyes
Who knew she could feel so alive
Her M.O.’s changed
She don’t wanna behave
Ain’t it good to be a brave girl tonight

Tonight, it’s alright
A brave girl tonight

So she met this man
He was kinda rough
He said, girl, whatcha lookin’ for
She said, I don’t know
I go with the flow
He said, let’s get on the floor
He said, you look real cute with your low ride jeans
And your pink little baby tee
Let’s get a room, girl
Come and ride with me

She wants a good time
No need to rewind
She needs to really find what she wants
She lands on both feet
Won’t take a back seat
There’s a brave new girl
And she’s coming out tonight

She’s gonna step outside
Uncover her eyes
Who knew she could feel so alive
Her M.O.’s changed
She don’t wanna behave
Ain’t it good to be a brave girl tonight

Tonight, it’s alright
A brave girl tonight
Tonight, it’s alright
A brave new girl tonight

She’s gonna step outside
Uncover her eyes
Who knew she could feel so alive
Her M.O.’s changed
She don’t wanna behave
Ain’t it good to be a brave girl tonight
Tonight it’s alright
A brave girl tonight

Tonight, it’s alright
A brave girl tonight
A brave girl tonight
A brave girl tonight